Voices of Volunteers
Kindred Spirits This Side of the Rainbow Bridge
By "Peaches" Nussbaum (as related to Bette Nussbaum, UHR Volunteer)
When I was two, I woke up one morning and saw my front paws resting on a strange bridge. Luckily I have four paws, for the caring, capable people at County Animal Hospital and Oradell Animal Hospital pulled me back. After a diagnosis of Addison's Disease and a week in the hospital, my role in life changed. I became a certified therapy dog and, with my teammate, Bette, a Hospice volunteer like her.
I sensed that our first patients were very close to the Rainbow Bridge, so I never really got to know them, until I met Alex at the Rockland County Infirmary. He was 98 at the time (What is that in dog years?) but far enough away from the bridge that we had time to get to know each other. I was not "Peaches" to him but his"frand" (friend), spoken with his French accent. He told us of his youth in Switzerland, his experiences as a police officer, and his beloved K9 "Brandy". When he showed me Brandy's old collar, I sniffed her scent, so I could tell him she was still here. Although his eyes were clouded, I could see beyond them as he could see into mine. Alex was always delighted to see me but also sad when I left.
On our last visit, I sensed something was wrong, for he was lying in bed with strange tubes running to his nose. Bette pulled a chair to the bed and lifted me onto her lap. At forty pounds I am no lap dog, but I sat there for an hour, my front legs on his bed, and watched him. He was very agitated, but I knew my job. I alone sensed that he was aware of our presence. When Bette placed his hand on my head, he scratched me with his finger tips. I was glad I was there to see him across the Rainbow Bridge and assure him that he and Brandy would again be united as a team.
Hello. My Name is Sue Bonito & I am a Hospice Volunteer
So many ask me why and how I could do such work voluntarily. Well, I remember when I was sick, how alone I felt, scared, with so many doctors probing at me. Family and friends were unsure what to say. My own husband immersed himself in work to deal with his own fears. There are all natural responses. The difference was I knew I would survive, I knew I had to do something with my life to be of service to others; like a calling. Reiki was given to me to support me during this most difficult time. Who knew then in the 90‘s that I would myself become a Reiki Master and give to those in need. As I went on with my life, giving back to the community became extremely important to me. So I volunteered time and services as a nurturing, caring individual to those in need. I feel my life is continually blessed by service to others.
My clients are special people with whom I am blessed to have shared the most precious time in their lives. Ms. F was a strong woman and independent woman. When I started to visit her she would share wonderful moments of her life as we drafted holiday cards to family and friends. With each envelope I addressed, a loving story would unfold. I listened intently to her special bond with people and adventures. She shared so much wisdom about people. I believe she helped me mature as a woman. As she became more frailer she requested the Reiki more frequently, just asking, “Please place your hands here”. Other times she slept as I gave her a hand or foot massage. I feel her presence even to this day as I face challenges in my own life. As I walked this morning, a pair of Mallards were swimming joyfully in the stream on the edge of this busy Rockland County Road. I thought Ms. F would have loved to have watched these two dance over rocks watching out for each other as I watched over them.
Mr. A was so special when I met him. He lived a brave life cherishing every last minute. He never wanted his son to see his pain so his attitude was always positive and bright. When I would visit I would give him Reiki in his bedroom away from the hustle and bustle of life. He always fell asleep as the energy allowed him to relax, I would use the music from the TV to set the meditative mood for him. I will never forget his positive outlook and optimism. He never complained or showed signs of self pity. He was all about living for the moment of the day. A motto to cherish.
I could go on and on regarding the “special folks” that have touched my life in my volunteering time with Hospice. My world is richer, my knowledge expanded, and my compassion for all has been thoroughly enriched by my time with each and every person I have had the grace to know.
My question with each visit was “what is this person asking me for and what do they need”? By using the Reiki to center myself, I become available to hear and provide for the needs of another human being. I respect that as an instrument of a Higher Source. I am touched by the lives of many, thus allowing me to understand the humanness that is in all of us.
A Healing Hearts Story
By Bob Kurkela, Healing Hearts Volunteer
Hospice. The very word makes most people think of one thing: death. I used to be one of those people. But I watched as Hospice tended to my sick friend, David, and then to my step-mother, Marge. When David became ill, he was cared for 24/7 in his home until his last day by Hospice caregivers and his family. His children were part of things and were able to sit on the hospital bed with their dad until he died.
With Marge, Hospice came into my parents’ house to assist my dad as she became frailer. Hospice treated Marge, like David, with compassion unlike any I have ever witnessed. This sensitive treatment planted a seed in my mind. I wanted to help people faced with their own mortality, but I did not know what this seed would grow into.
I contacted United Hospice of Rockland to become a volunteer, thinking I’d be working with the terminally ill. But the training schedule didn’t work for me, and soon I was contacted by Dr. Sharami Kerr, coordinator of the Healing Hearts Program.
How did I go from dying patients to grieving children? I honestly believe it was meant to be. I’ve been living with loss most of my life. My mom died when I was 6-years old. I could bring experience and empathy to Healing Hearts. I had something in common with these precious children, something so wounding, so profound that I couldn’t help but believe this was all part of my particular purpose. Spiritually speaking, I would say I was “guided” to the program.
It has now been three years since Sharami contacted me. I have seen tears and laughter. I have heard stories of how loved ones died. Cancer. Auto accident. Sledding accident. Motorcycle accident. Murder. Suicide. AIDS. Lou Gehrig’s disease. It’s hard enough for a child to cope with the finality of death. And it’s harder if that loved one died from suicide or AIDS. Society tends to judge deaths like these.
I can relate. Before her death when I was 6, my mother suffered from mental illness and was institutionalized. Even now, it’s hard for me to talk about my mom’s illness or how she died in an institution,. Will people think I suffer from mental illness if my mom did? This is how survivors think. This is how the children think.
My fellow Healing Hearts facilitators will agree with me when I state that we heal along with the children. We’ve all had our own losses. And some of the children in Healing Hearts suffer from multiple losses. One girl was dealing with the death of her father, a friend who had died in an accident, and other personal and family stressors. But her attitude was upbeat.
A girl in my present group, who I will call Hope, also remains positive which is stunning considering the events that have transpired in her life. Hope’s brother was killed by a drunk driver, her dog died, and one of her teachers was murdered. How does she remain so optimistic? Mind boggling, isn’t it?
Life isn’t always fair, but in these cases, it seems absolutely cruel to these kids. Their circumstances put my life in perspective as I realize that any issue I thought to be unfair, in fact, petty. I cannot complain because I, at least, have a 44-year old brain to process my problems. The children I work with haven’t hit puberty. It’s overwhelming. They need a safe, nurturing program like Healing Hearts, if only for 2 nights a month. It’s amazing to watch new kids come into the group and observe how the seasoned kids get them to open up. They immediately befriend them, a strong bond is formed, and some become friends outside of Hospice.
These children help each other remain engaged in life, even when life has hurt them. Hope helps out in an animal shelter. If she can share her time, given the adversity she faces, then we have no excuses. My friend David volunteered to entertain sick children and adults until his body would no longer let him. Four months before he died, David expressed his desire to continue doing good things in the world. Heed the call to care, to remain engaged in this precious world, and let these children — and others who face death — show us what is possible.
